Weekends are hard work.
Elaboration will naturally ensue, but I would like to place simple emphasis on how much work weekends are.
Social obligations. My gosh.
It is literally impossible to make everyone happy. With that said, however, why do we even take it upon ourselves to ‘make’ everyone happy, anyways? Who delegated the responsibility to us, when we were fresh and bloody babes, that we would be issued the task of making people happy for the rest of our lives? And note, momentarily please, the actual etymology of ‘make’: Old English macian, from a base meaning ‘fitting’; related to match.
‘Fitting’ implies to accommodate something into an existing situation. For example, I ‘fit’ my muffin top into my jeans. My jeans already exist; they have boundaries that have already been established. My muffin top, however, has the ability to expand or decrease (please, King Triton, for the love of mermaids, let it decrease!). This is a simple analogy of how we, as people, are a pair of jeans, that were made according to a pattern that would best suit our eventual figure. It’s getting a bit complicated, but bear with me.
So, the fact that we are tailored in a certain way, to suit our own body as best as possible, means that when we go out of our way to accommodate other people, we are compromising the original pattern of our jeans (I’m noticing a subconscious connotation of ‘genes’ here). By altering our jeans, we need to either add or subtract aspects, to or from them. For example, an elasticated waist- how far do you need to stretch your original pattern, in order to accommodate another person trying to fit into your pair of jeans? This equation is not isolated to you and only You. This equation applies to every(body).
The simplified version of above is thus: How far are we willing to go to alter ourselves to accommodate another person?
The party you’ve been dragged to by a friend that you don’t want to be at- do you simply not want to be there, or are there triggers within the environment that are making you uncomfortable? Will people judge you? Will they try make banal small talk? Will the hors d’oeuvres be as basic as the bitches?
Think about it: Do we really need to change who we intrinsically are, in order to satiate someone else’s need to be socially acceptable? So what if I have mermaid hair? So what if I’m 6ft1 (barefoot), and I’m a woman? Who cares? That very question is crucial to understanding your own need to adjust yourself ‘accordingly’. Why do we go out of our way to mould ourselves into what is socially desirable? There is no resolute definition of who a person should be. There are standards, yes, but more importantly, there are stigmas, and those are what one needs to be cautious of.
I am Bipolar, with co-morbid ADHD and OCD. These were initially ‘labels’ that I fought against with a vengeance- How dare these medical ‘professionals’ define me, my intrinsic being, as being a result of ‘disorders’? Are they thus implying that my nature is a disorder? Am I even who I think I am? These questions plagued me. They bore into my mind like a mole into a cave; I was seeking perfect answers. However, it was more of a case of when you look straight into the sun, and the more you stare at it, the blinder you become.
The key word is ‘stigma’, and perhaps- due to the above mentioned psychological aspects- I am a tad biased within this realm, but I have reached an important conclusion that sums up all the strange analogies that I have brain-farted out above: Experiencing the need to change to suit someone else’s life better as a necessity– well- it’s problematic. Firstly, why does that person require that you change? Is your behaviour or attitude causing harm? Is that person’s wellbeing compromised by your own necessitated state of wellbeing? It takes a pretty balanced person to reach the point of satisfying all party’s needs. But is this even necessary? If one has to go out of their way to comply with another person’s set beliefs and standards, is that really the type of person we should be fraternising with?
The answer, surprisingly (or un-), is yes.
Without challenges, we cannot change; without change, we cannot grow; and without growth, we will never reach an ultimate destination within our indubitably mortal lives.
Thus, as tedious as it may be to take your jeans back and forth to be tailored, it is a vital occurrence within our life paths. We cannot exist as sole entities. No man is an island. Without interaction; without challenging ourselves; without allowing ourselves to be open to learning from other people- we have nothing to work with.
Of course- we have ourselves. But unless you choose an existence of loneliness/purposeful solitude (subjective interpretation), then encounters with other humans are inevitable. Being stubborn and never swaying to reach a symbiosis with another person, is futile. We need to be aligned with people and their interests, in order to give true meaning to our own interests. Stigmas can only be broken through people understanding. Make them understand. Make them fit you.
M
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